I'm married to a jew
by Kylelover101
Summary: Adoption, it can be painful not only to the child but, to the parent as well. but for this "famouse couple" it'll be a lifetime of memories, tears, and smiles all in one story.
1. Chapter 1 Adoption and marriage

**:) Hi this is my first Kyman fanfiction, so, yeah...I'm more of a Style lover, it's just I've been more accustiom to StanxKyle then I have KylexCartman. so, I'm trying meh best, and I thought of this...randomly. If I could have some help with this story, like ideas...then that would be great! I hope you like this! this is my first one! please can I have kind reviews, if not, I'LL BLOW YOUR FRIGGIN' HEAD OFF! (not really,) **

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

Summary: This is a brief story about Cartman and Kyle, and their life after they get married. They live in a nice house in Denver, They have a ton of money, Kyle's mother has stopped calling him, but all Kyle wants...if a **family.**

**Kyle's POV**

I married my enemy. I loved him, from the moment I laied eyes on him in kindergarden, I liked him. I saw him, sitting at the round table, eating cookies. I went up to him, and said that my name was Kyle, he told me his name was Eric, and to call him Cartman. I smiled at him, and he blushed. That was the only nice conversation we had. other then a few in our dating times. Cartman, was the "top dog" (in bed and) at school. he was fat, (duh) but he made a lie that Stanley Marsh, (my super best friend) was HIS super best friend, that made me and him hate each other more.  
But, Cartman, had no father, and a slut for a mom. He told me, one day: "I wish for a dad, someone who will love me"

After that, he asked me out. I fell in love right then and there. My mother was accepting of my being Gay, but not of Eric Cartman. He blew up at her at a dinner that we had. he called her a "stupid-fucking-worthless-fat-bitch" I didn't agree with him, nor did I complain.  
At the wedding, I agreed to wear a dress for my lover. After the wedding, My Eric was soft, and gentle (well, more than he was) We moved out of South Park and into Denver, we lived far so we could visit and be away to be left alone.  
Eric had a shit fit when I asked Stan to be my best man at the wedding. Stan took the job, but Cartman was thinking that I was cheating on him.

Since Stan broke up with Wendy last month, Stan moved in with us. He was knocking on the door, when Cartman and I were in the middle of our love-time and asked if he could spend the night, because South Park was a ways away. I automatically said "yes." but Cartman had a look on his face that told me he hated the idea. Cartman wouldn't leave Stan alone with me for a second. Stan is still living with us, I have no problem with that. but Cartman does.

I was cleaning house, while Cartman was at work one day. and came across the wedding picture of Cartman and I. I smiled at the picture. I loved it with all of my heart, that sounded gay, but it was true. I love Eric. and Eric loves me, but I still felt loanly. I felt as if something was missing, wile walking around town, I saw a couple with **a baby** I knew now, Thats what I wanted, a baby! someone who would be with me all day, comfort me when I was sad or needed love, **someone who would need me**. I decided to talk it over with Eric, maybe he would be happy as i was.

**Cartman's POV**

"Hell no! nuh-uh! thats out of the question Kahl!" I was mad, why the fuck, would Kyle want a baby? "why would you want one? It would just sit on it's ass all day, cry, whine for food and shit!"  
"you can relate huh Eric?" I growled.  
"look, Kyle I know you want one, but not right now! we can't even afford a baby! more then less a crib, or anything else!"

"but Eric, we will be taking in a child who was unwanted, or couldn't be taken care of, It'll make me happy..." The damn jew started circling my chest with his finger. "no!" I said still, and went back to my dinner. Kyle had a sad look on his face.  
"Fuck you Eric! you can sleep on the couch tonight!" and with that Kyle left the kitchen.  
"Kahl!" I started chasing after him "Kahl! wait!" too last he slammed the door in my face. I could hear him crying into a pillow, Kyle is a loud son of a bitch...I sighed. But it's true, We couldn't afford one, even if I wanted one.

Just then that bum, Stan walked in the door. "hey! I'm home..."  
"this ain't your home! leave you pussy!"  
"fuck you cartman," stan looked around the room, "where's Kyle, did he go to bed?"  
"no, he's upstairs crying."  
"WHY?" Stan hollered.  
"Because he wants a baby.."  
Stan had a What the Fuck look on his face. "He wants to adopt a kid, and we don't have I, don't have the money, or the time..." I explained.  
Stan had a sorry look on his face.

After twenty minutes of silence, Kyle came downstairs with bloodshot eyes, and a tear stained face, he started doing the dishes, and trying not to make eye contact with me. "Hi Kyle, how are you?' Stan asked, with a smile...fucker.  
Kyle turned around. "Fan-fuckin-tastic, Stan, how are you...?" he asked.  
"I'm sorry KAhl..."I said.  
"well, Stan, I love your tie!" Kyle said.  
"I'm sorry Kahl!" I said a little bit louder.  
"how's the weather Stan? perfect weather to walk the dog, or take you kids to the park!"  
"Fuck you Kahl!"

he was ignoring me! I guess, he wants a kid...BAD! well, I have no choice, I pick up the phone, and go into a different room.  
"Hello! colorado adoption agency! how may I help you?" some chick asked.  
"My name is Eric, and I'm thinking of adopting a baby..."

God, I am not watching this Kid, this Kid is Kahl's! I'm not waking up in the middle of the night if it cries, I'm not feeding it! I'm not changing it! this is Kahl's Baby, I'm not taking care of it god-damnit!...Kahl, knows how to puch my buttons.  
that night, I got into bed with Kahl. I gently shook him. "go away Cartman, I don't want to talk to you..." Kahl said, in a teary voice. I picked up the phone I was using, I had recorded the whole conversation, I put it up to Kahl's ear, and pressed the "record" button. After Kahl heard the conversation, he smiled with joy and hugged me.

"thank you Eric!" he smothered me with kisses. God, the things I do for my Jew.

**You like? is it good? please rivew! this is my first story, (well second) thats not a Style flick! I just want to know if I'm doing a good job, if I am review for me to continue!**

**:) -Kylelover101 (hannahmariesmith46) **


	2. Chapter 2 Miles & the longass week

**:) Hi this is my first Kyman fanfiction, so, yeah...I'm more of a Style lover, it's just I've been more accustiom to StanxKyle then I have KylexCartman. so, I'm trying meh best, and I thought of this...randomly. If I could have some help with this story, like ideas...then that would be great! I hope you like this! this is my first one! please can I have kind reviews, if not, I'LL BLOW YOUR FRIGGIN' HEAD OFF! (not really,) Well, Cartman couldn't see his little Jew cry any longer, so, he decided that they would adopt. You'll see why Cartman doesn't want to adopt. I'll reval more of Cartman's past and some of Kyle's past too. but thats for l8er. Well, Enjoy! **

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

Summary: This is a brief story about Cartman and Kyle, and their life after they get married. They live in a nice house in Denver, They have a ton of money, Kyle's mother has stopped calling him, but all Kyle wants...if a **family.**

**Kyle's POV**

I could hardly sleep! Cartman agrred to have a baby! I could see it now! I'd be holding the baby, and Cartman would come up and hug us both! We'd have fun at the park, and we'd teach our child all of life's innocent things! I don't care if that sounded gay! It was the truth! I smiled before falling asleep.

I wode up the next morning It was Eric's day off! I kissed him on the forehead, then the cheek and went downstairs to make my lover some pancakes. Eric loves pancakes. In the words of Leaine Cartman, "I want my child full to the bit!" actually, that kind of scared me. I smiled. She helped me make the food Cartman loved as a child. I took out all of the fat and grease though, I don't want Eric having a heart attack.  
I was making the gooy batter, when Stan walked in the kitchen. "Ky," He told me, "I'm going to move out next week, I found a place of my own..."

I was shocked, Stan had been living with us for about two months. I was kind of sad to see him go. "Well, Stan ,if you ever need us, you know where to find us..." I smiled. I told Stan, that I was gay when I was 16 he was accepting that I was, I never had a crush on Stan, we were like brothers, thats all we needed. Eric walked in the kitchen, "PANCAKES!" He shouted.  
"sit down, Eric" I giggled. Eric came up behind me and held onto my waist, his hand moved down, and he squeezed my left ass cheek. "ERIC!" I squeeled.

"YOu can't have this Stan!" wait, what did he say. I looked at Stan he was bright red. "I'm-I'm not hunry Kyle, I've got to pack any way"  
"your leaving?" Eric shouted. "YES! YOO-HOO!"  
Stan, looked hurt in a way. I looked at Cartman. "Eric!" Stan walked out of the room. I went after him, I opened the kitchen door, to see him packing clothes into a suitcase. I turned at looked at my husband. "Why did you say that?" I asked him

"Say what?" Eric asked.  
"you know what! Stan is my best friend, and if he needed to stay here then-"  
"what ever-I don't care we gotta' go somewhere!"  
"where?" I asked. "It's your day off, I thought you wanted to spend it with me...alone" usually on Eric's days off, he would want to sex me up. somtimes he would take me places, like the beach, or we'd go sking in the mountians.  
"We gotta' go to the adoption agency...dummy!"  
I smiled. That was alright with me! "When do we leave?" I asked jumping up and down.  
"shit! Kyle! calm down, we leave in three hours."

I ran upstairs to get dressed, I apologized to Stan, "I'm sorry for the way Eric acted and-"  
"Don't worry Ky." Stan said. "I didn't exptect him to be nice to me while I was staying here..." I told Stan about Cartman letting me adopt a baby. Stan smiled. "well, I'm sure you will be a great parent..."  
I cocked an eyebrow. "what about Eric?"  
"Cartman? a great bouncyhouse, for the kids" I laughed. "no, wait a trampoline!"  
"Thats mean Stan!" but I couldn't stop laughing. "hee, hee oh! I gotta' get dressed!"

Stan finished packing, and went to work. I got dressed, and two hours later, Eric and I went to the agency. We got into Eric's new and fancy-schmancy black car. It was twenty miels north of North Park. I couldn't help but smile the whole time. we entered the agency. A lady was waiting for us.  
"are you Kyle and Eric Cartman?" (yes, I changed my last name to: "Cartman" thats one of many reasons my mother was agenst the wedding.)  
"yes. Yes we are." I said. "I'm Kyle, and this is my husband Eric" Eric didn't wanna' be here, I could tell, but he was doing this for me and I loved it!

"Well, follow me..." The lady led us to a room, in there was a desk and two chairs. "have a seat." we took a seat. "Now, looking at your backrounds...and work place...and living place...I can tell that you are sutiable for adopting a child, or children..." She smiled sweetly.  
"are you interested in one child or many?" she asked.  
"ONE!" Eric immendently said.  
"one, is alright..." I smield.  
"alright...gender?"  
"Male..." I said. I wanted to get a child that I could relate to sex-wise...you know, incase of puberty, and other things. I didn't want to give my daughter a tampon, or tell her about getting pregnant. I knew that would be uncompterable to me and Eric.  
"age?" She asked. Wow, that was though, did I want a little baby? or a toddler? Baby, or Toddler? Baby? or toddler? Baby? or toddler?  
"Baby..." Cartman said.

"If you will follow me again, we can look at the children..." The lady led us to a room there were nurses, and other care-keepers there. I smailed. Inside these walls would be my little baby boy! I took a look at the small little things! they were all so cute! some were sucking on their small fingers! some made cute, adroable yawns! and *GASP* ONE JUST GIGGLED IN IT'S SLEEP!.

"Hey, Kahl!" Cartman said.  
he was holding up a baby..."look, you don't have to feel so insecure now! look at the honker on this baby!" that baby had a friggin' pelican nose!  
"cartman! don't pick on a baby!" I whispered, to not wake any of the babies.  
Then, I found him! the PERFECT BABY! he had strawberry color hair, and a skinny face. he was white, but had some rose color pink to his skin. "Eric, I want this baby..." Eric came over to have a look at the child. I will admit he looked a lot like me, but I rubbed his cheek lightly to open his eyes, he reviled them to me, a soft baby-blue color.

"Fine..." Eric said. I smiled with joy. "we found one!" Eric almost yelled.

"Eric! there are sleeping babies here!"

"alright, you found the child...this is Miles. He was already named, but if you want to change it..."  
"no it's alright, we'll have the baby keep his name" I smiled. His mother or father must of named him Miles, I wanted Miles to keep that name, to remind him that his parents left him something he could use in life.

"alright, I'll put the child as "marked"-"  
"what does that mean?" I asked.  
"it means this child is going to be adopted, and we don't wnat someone else adopting this child, that would cause a problem, becuase you both wanted this one, we do it for every child..."  
"oh..."

The Lady led us back to the office, "now, this child's backround is pretty graphic, are you sure you want to hear it?"  
"yes..." I said.  
Eric was trying not to show intrest, but was having a hard time.

"this child was molested..." she said.  
"oh...god!" I said, I put my hands on my cheeks. molested?  
"was molested, twice, mother was an alcoholic, child now is diagnosed with athsma, because of breathing in nothing but crack-pot-and-cokcane..."  
"stop...just...stop..." I begged.  
this is the child I want. I don't want this child anymore, I need it, and it needs me.  
"you will have you child in a week..."

**Cartman's P.O.V**

God, I'd thought we'd never leave. Kyle wanted to go shopping for the baby. we spent almost nine hundred dollars of MY money on this brat!  
"lets see: Crib, bottles, rocking chair, ten sleep wear outfits, two winter coats, five boxes of diapers, formula, extra milk, mittins, small hats, a stroller..."  
"Kahl, why don't you just say the whole baby department? it'll save you a lot of breath!" I snapped Kahl looked upset. I felt bad now, shit!

We gave the baby the room across the hall. It was MEH storage room, wher eI was putting my work papers in but oh, no! THAT room had to belong to Miles. Miles, what the hell kind of name is that?  
not to mention, we are on a time schedule! We only have a week to get shit ready! stan, (the bum-ass pussy) helped, for about two hours, before I told him the truth about him and Wendy, and how she was cheeting on him from the very start with Tolken. The Baby burst into tears, and ran out of the house!  
"it's not meh fault!" I argued with Kahl.

"whatever Cartman, whatever..."

All Kahl talks about now it the baby!  
he alled up his parents and Ike to tell then that he was adopting and they came right over, and that bitch, Shelia, told me: "if my grandson isn't circumcised...blah, blah, blah,...I'll disown you...crap, crap, crap,...I don't give a..." I didn't even pay attention to half the crap she said.  
Kyle was all smiles. "isn't it wonderful Eric? we get to have a son of our own!" oh, goody-goody-gumdrops! this week is gonna' be a long week!

**You like? Well, is Cartman going to like Miles? are Kyle's parents going to do what they already did?...?...Well, stick around to find out! **

**I like reviews, they are like my ciggerretts on fanfiction. I like the nice ones...**

**(ha ha) **

**Kylelover101**


	3. Chapter 3 Christian or Jewish?

**:) Hi this is getting good huh? Well, I'm going to skip a few days and get right to the point. Alright? so, just to warn you so you don't get confused. Well, now that Kyle has a baby...will Eric show the same compassion to Miles as Kyle is going to? I won't tell u, I'm gonna' be a bitch and tell you to read and find out.**

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

Summary: This is a brief story about Cartman and Kyle, and their life after they get married. They live in a nice house in Denver, They have a ton of money, Kyle's mother has stopped calling him, but all Kyle wants...if a **family.**

**Kyle's POV**

We walked in the door, to our warm house in the mountians, I was carrying a car seat, and in the little car seat was our little Miles! He was softly sleeping. I didn't expect to see my family and Liane I smiled. and made a sush sign. "Everyone, this is Miles..." I unfolded the blanket to revel his pink little face. he had a pasifire in his mouth, and was sucking on it gently. "He's adorable Kyle" Cartman's mother commented.

"thank you...It wasn't hard adopting at all, they did some backround check and poof1 we got Miles" I smiled.

"My mother was waring a fake smile. I could tell, that she wasn't happy, (Well, with a lot of things).  
'Kyle, is this baby** going to be jewish**?" she asked.  
I looked at my mother. "Well, we havn't thought of that. Yet, We are still thinking on that-"  
"He's gonna' be Christian" Cartman said.

My mother glared at me.  
"Eric, you told me that we would think about this..." I said.  
"I changed my mind, I don't want any reason for that bitch-you call a mom-to come over here!"  
I gasped. how could he say that? sure, my mother was hard to get along with and Cartman never like her, but that was too far.

"How dare you!" My mother started. "How dare you call me filthy names and expect my respect!"  
"I never expect your respect! you make it sound like a fuckin' jewish bootcamp in-order to have it! "  
"Hey!" I wanted them to stop, becuase they were waking up Miles. Too late, the next thing anyone hears is a loud screech. Miles is awake. and fussy. "Thanks, really appreciate it" I said with scarcasm in my voice. I went up the steps to take care of my little Miles...

"Don't worry" I whispered. as I put a warm footsie-Pj on him. "Somtimes daddy, and grammie, don't...see eye to eye."  
Miles was calming down now.  
"but, trust me, it'll get better..." I kissed the sweet baby on the forehead. "I love you..." I lightly bounced the fussy baby. Miles was getting quiet. When there wasn't so much shouting, I went downstairs with Miles to get him a bottle. My brother Ike was in the kitchen with My mother. "Do you see, and hear the way he talks to me Ike?" Mom bellered.  
"yes...mother I did, mom Kyle' s here, with a sleeping kid, do you mind keeping it down?"

Ike could easily tell mom to shut up, but you have to tell her at the right moment.

"oh! theres my grandson!" Mom smiled I gave Miles over to her. Miles loved my mother! (I'm sure he'll be like me and CArtman and hating her as he gets older)  
Mom made Miles laugh and giggle. "Kyle," she handed Miles over to me, as I was ready to feed Miles.  
"you were going to give my grandson a bris right?

Crap! I know my mother wants Miles to be Jewish. And I would love for Miles to be unique, and learn about Judasium. But, I was also thinking about Eric, I remember being ripped on, and made fun of becuase I had a Manorah, wile everyone (literatly everyone) else had Christmas trees, and presents...I had some cool things when Hanakkah came around, but remembering me getting picked on and stuff. I didn't want Miles to be made fun of becasue his Religion is different. But my mother's feelings were important too, but.

"I don't know, I'll have to talk it over with Eric."

"you know his answer, dear! he's just going to keep saying that my grandson is going to be Christion!"

"LikeI said, mother I'll have to talk it over with Erick...in bed..."  
"EW! KYLE!" Ike laughed.  
"KYLE! don't you ever say something that disguesting in front of me again!"

"Why? got a problem whim my sex life?" I laughed. Whats good about moving out, and being married, is you can bac talk to your parents, and rip them off for making your childhood crappy! YOu can threaten them by saying your moving to some forgin country and your never coming back! and They'll go nuts!

I laughed with my brother, watching my mother's face go beat red. but She kept her tounge in her mouth.

Miles was sleeping now, so I put him to bed. I wanted to give him a bath, but I'll do that in the morning...

"Sweet dreams...my son.." GOD! I wanted to say those words for so long now!

**Muh HA HA HA! I am Kylelover101! I have kidnapped Kyle and he is my sex toy for life! No, just kidding! (although, that sounds soooooo inviting!) well, I'm glad yyou liked this chapter...there will be more of Miles growing up l8er in the chapters. Sorry this had to be short, I had to be somewhere! I was meaning for Kyle to agree with Eric, that Miles would be christian, but I want you reviewers to tell me that! I'll write more, maybe this afternoon. I Dun-know...**

**Well, until next time folks! **

**I'm Kylelover101 (hannahmariesmith46) Where Kyle in South Park is no longer safe from me! **

**(Just Kidding) **


	4. Chapter 4 I wanted that, Half Jewish

**:) Hi this is getting good huh? Well, I have decided (because of my awsome reviewers!) that I will make Miles Christian and Jewish. I don't know how thats gonna' work...Oh, well, I'll figure it out on my own. I'll tell some of Cartman's past in this chapter...most of this shit I come up with, just pops into meh, head Just to FYI u all. Well, Keep reading.**

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

Summary: This is a brief story about Cartman and Kyle, and their life after they get married. They live in a nice house in Denver, They have a ton of money, Kyle's mother has stopped calling him, but all Kyle wants...if a **family.**

**Kyle's P.O.V**

We walked out of the church, That was that, Miles was christain and Jewish.  
"We had a busy day didn't we Miles?" I laughed. Miles was making adorable laughs and coos. It was priceless. Eric didn't seem too happy though.  
"Eric? whats wrong?" I asked.  
"nothin..." He said.  
I wasn't going to let that fly past me. I'd ask him later. Maybe over a sexy shower. Miles still needed to be carried where ever Eric or I was at. because Miles wasn't at the "walking stage" oh, well, I didn't mind one bit. it was too adorable, how he laughed. it sounded like that was the only thing Ineeded to hear either on a bad or good day.

"do you want to go see grandma' and grandpa?" I smiled at Miles.  
He laughed and cooed again. "Eric, he did it again!" I squeeled with joy. Eric and I were almost to the car, when I saw something. I was, Wendy! and Stan!

"don't you ever talk to me again Stan Marsh!" then she slapped him.  
"Eric, watch Miles!" I said.  
"What?" Eric said.

"Stan! stan!" I called. "Stan, are you alright?" I asked.  
"no..." He said, there was a slap mark on his face. "oh, Stan..." I said. "thats it, you-your coming home with me and Eric!" I said, pulling on his sleeve.  
"Wait! Ky!" Stan laughed. "what are...Is that Miles?" He pointed. I looked to where he was pointing, Miles was screaming, and crying, Eric was trying to calm him down, but Miles wasn't listening.  
"come on..."

I got Miles to be quiet, well Stan did actually. "hi baby..." Stan smiled. Miles was calming down, just a little bit. Stan played with Miles a little bit longer and Miles was all happy again.  
"stupid fuckin' Kid fuckin' hates me..." Eric mumbled.  
I looked at Eric, "no he doesn't..." I said. Then a thought came to my mind, what if Miles does hate Eric, I mean, when I'm in the room, and it's Eric and Miles and Me, Miles is fine, but when I leave, and It's Eric and Miles, Miles goes nuts.

Well, Miles was molested. Maybe Eric looks like the molester, or, I'm getting ahead of myself. Miles jsut needs to get adjusted to Eric, as does Eric to Miles. I thought of some way Eric and Miles could be together. Maybe a "father-son" thing. Thats it! Eric and Miles could go somewhere like the park, or stay at home, together, and I cold go to my mothers or something! It's perfect.

**Cartman's P.O.V**

I hate Fags! I hate them!  
"Why the fuck is Stan back living with us Kahl?" I hollered. Kahl just put the kid to sleep for a nap, and stan was downstairs watching TV. "you know I have a rule with no fags in the house!"  
"I heard that Cartman!" Stan hollered.  
"good! hear me when I say this! "Get THE FUCK OUT!" I hollered.  
"Eric! your going to wake the baby!" Kahl pointed out.  
"yeah, Stan, get the fagginess out, ts too much for that kid to bear!"  
"Cartman..." Kahl gritted his teeth. "stop this right now..." Kahl was in his pissy mood. I rolled my eyes. "waht ever...I'd rather deal with Stan then your mother, but now that, that kid is half jewish, your bitch for a mom will come to our house!"

"I welcome your mother into the house" Kahl pointed out.

"My mim doesn't bitch lik your does!"

Just then their is a fain cry, then a sherik! "Goddamn it cartamn! you can sleep on the sofa tonight!" Kahl said, then he went into Miles's room. fuck, waht the hell did I do?

I went downstair to get a beer, Kahl drink too, but not as much as me. I can get drunk, but I'm not horny, that kid's upstairs, Kahl's not horny, and that pussy, Stan is here!" I can't even enjoy a drink!  
I walked over to the couch.  
"thats your ass" I said.  
Stan cocked an eybrow. "so?"  
"thats your ass, thats meh SPOT!"

"you act like you used to when we were Kids Cartman!-Er, my bad, fatass!"  
"fuck you pussy! at least I know how to stan up to a woman!"  
"you mean crush them, with your fat ass then yes, fatass!"

I saw that Stan wasn't going to move, so I did what Kahl would do when I wouldn't move, I sat on him.  
"Fuck you Cartman!" I only Sat on his lap, so I wouldn't kill him. I took ina deep breath then farted on the faggot. "FUCK YOU CARTMAN!" Stan hollered, still it got him to move.

**(A/N ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! :D ) **

"Oh God Jersey shore? What the Fuck? turn the channel!" I said.  
"whatever cartman..." Stan got up, and headed upstairs...Kahl was up there.  
"where the fuck are you going?"  
"take a piss."

I sighed. a few minutes I heard laughter. I got up to see what was so damn funny. I looked outside of the door away, it was cracked a little. I saw Stan bouncing the baby, and Kahl twirling around. They danced together, and held Miles at the same time. A perfect family...

_(Flashback)_

_"Eric, hon, Mommy's going out...I'll be back in a little while"_

_"Goddamnit woman leave already!" _

_She left, I watched TV..._

_She came home drunk that night.  
She fell on the floor. I dragged her by the feet, and threw her on her bed, I didn't tuck her in, or nothin'_

_I didn't care, I just was sad..._

_sad that she had to be a hooker to make ends meet... _

_I would meet countless boys...They couldn't ever be my father though..._

_(Flashback done)_

I saw them, being happy, and smiling. God, I sound like a pussy for saying this but, I wanted that. A loving mother and father. Sure, it was fuckin' awesome having what ever I wanted but, I think I wanted more then that...I still want more then that, and if I can't get it, I might have to give it.

**Kyle's P.O.V**

It's been one full week! One full week of being a parent, I'm so happy!  
I was in the kitchen, giving Miles a bath in the sink. Because he's too small for the tub upstairs and Babies should have two baths in the sink before you put them in a tub, also Eric and I just had sex in the shower, I'm not washing my precious baby in cum.

"you like a bath huh? Miles?" I asked the bubbly baby. Miles surly did love taking a bath, he was playing with the toys and bubbles in the sink. I rinsed off the baby, with warm water and put a towel over his small body. "Come on Miles, lets get you dressed." I smiled.

My parents were coming over for dinner, and I wanted to make sure Eric was good.

I walked past Eric in the hall way. "remember Eric, mommy said you need to be a good boy today" I said in Cartman's mother's voice.

"Shut up! KALH!" Cartman hollered. but Laughed.

I got Miles dressed, he was wearing this adorable onsie with cute bears on that Ike bought for Miles. Miles loves it. I picked up and kissed the happy baby. "ready for grandma, grandpa, and uncle Ike Miles?" I asked, as if he wasn't already.

It was six-thirty.  
I was nervous, I had the table all set up, I was preparing one of Mom's dinners she used to cook Ike and I when we were kids, I'm sure Miles can have a little of it. I mashed up some for Miles and that kid dove for it. I smiled, there was the doorbell! "Eric, watch Miles for me please?"  
"goddamn it!" Eric turned off the TV.

I saw my family on my huge porch. "welcome!" I smiled. Dad and Ike said their thank-you's I smiled to my mother, who game me a verry small smile back.  
"Are you okay?" I asked.  
"No, My grandchild isn't Jewish," she barked.  
"he's half..." I said, sadly.  
"I thought I raised you better..." She growled.  
she walked past me, leaving me to wonder what I did wrong...What did I do wrong? I just wanted this dinner to end...peacefully.

**Hee Hee, poor Kyle! I'll make a lot of tears coming up soon. I was wondering, should I continue? duh, or the dinner would get cold! Well, I like rivews, I love nice ones! If I could have that, and a million dollars that would be awesome! **

**Kylelover101**


	5. Chapter 5 the dinnerFirst steps & fall

**:) Hi this is getting good huh? (because of my awsome reviewers!) I was thinking no one liked this story, but I wasn't expecting a ton of rivews though. I just thought no one liked this for a while. Well, on with the dinner1 (Lets see if it goes okay) **

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

Summary: This is a brief story about Cartman and Kyle, and their life after they get married. They live in a nice house in Denver, They have a ton of money, Kyle's mother has stopped calling him, but all Kyle wants...if a **family.**

**Kyle's P.O.V**

I wasn't expecting it to be so...quiet. We all said grace, (Even Eric) and now we were just staring at eachother. I was smileing, but I was getting nervous. God, I wish Miles would cry or somthing, so I could leave! Ike broke the silence: "thank you Kyle,. it was a lovely dinner" He smiled.  
"your welcome Ike, how's collage?"  
"fine, there are some assholes being retarded, but thats just about it..."  
I smiled. IOke got into the UNC universtiy of Colorado. He's going to school with some of his best friends...Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

"they're making a video...it's called the spirit of christmas..."  
"that sounds retareded." I said laughing.  
"it's about fours boys, and they have to make things straigt with Jesus and Stanta"  
"wow, that sounds really dumb!"  
Ike laughed.

**(A/N hee, hee couldn't help myself! had to do that!)**

"Well, Kyle, have you been to any synagogues lately?" Mother asked.  
"Well, I've been busy with Miles and I had to take him to the doctor for a check up last Saturday..so-"  
"you skipped?" My mother remarked.  
"is there a bathroom here?" My dad asked quickly

"upstairs," Eric said. Good old dad, taking the easy way out.  
_phoo_! "Eric!" I said, Eric had just spit out all of his food. "What the hell is this slop?"  
"it's a kosher pasta salad.  
"You said we would have porkchops!"  
"porkchops?...!" My mother growled.

Oh, Shit.  
"Kyle. you know. It's agents your religion...to...eat...porkchops!"  
Dad came back, but uh-oh. Mom was turning red. "Miles," Why was I turning to the baby? "do you want some more?" I smiled. Miles smiled back, but with no responce. "I love you miley-miles!" I smiled, hoping to keep my mother from shouting.  
"KYLE!" Mother shouted. "Did you not hear me?"

Eric, I could tell was pissed. "leave him alone you fat-bitch! He has a life of his own! he's an adult! and god-damnit if I hear one more thing about him not being Jewish correctly, I'm gonna' bitch-slap you!"  
The room was quiet. Dad was wideyed. Ike was choking, to death, but he was fine now. My mother looked at him, then me. She quickly grabber her coat and headed for the door.  
"Come on Gearld!"  
Dad obayed. "Kyle..." He put his hand on my shaking shoulder.

"do, what you need to do...if you have to you can talk to me about your mother, don't listen to her, you are both welcomed to our house."  
Miles started laughing and cooing. "and of course you are welcomed too Miles..." Dad went and nuzzled the baby. I smiled. My father was a sensitive man, but strong too.

"I'll be going Kyle, but If you want I'll still visit you..."  
"of cours dad," I smiled. "you both wanna' come over here for brunch tomorrow?"  
"We'd love to Kyle..." Ike smiled.

Ike and Dad left.

"thank you, Eric, I know I've never been able to stand up to my mother like that..."  
"don't worry, no one messes with my jew..."  
"shut up..." I kissed him on the lips. When Eric pulled away, Miles wanted a nap. I held the baby in my arms, while sitting on the couch, Miles, sucking on a warm bottle, made me forget all the troubles in life. His light blue eyes made me think of a story I used to tell Ike when he was about three or four. Eric came and sat next to me. "is he dozing?"  
"almost. pretty soon he will."

Eric smiled and...kissed Miles?  
"eric? why did you do that?"  
"becuase he's my son...why can't i?"  
"no reason for you not to, it's just, that was unexpected..."  
"just like your mother not declaring another war.."  
I smiled. Eric knew how to make me smile.

Miles was making our life better. Eric and Miles began to accept one-another. Miles will even wanna' be held by Eric and no one else.

**Four months later...**

"Look! he's walking!" I shouted. "Eric! get the camera!"

Eric immendent made his way into the kitchen with the video camera. Miles was walking, very slowly but surely. he was walking in baby steps. "Miles, come to daddy," Eric said, as he pointed to me.  
Miles obayed, he held out his little arms for reaching me, and when he almost reached me, he fell falt on his face, on the tiles.

"AAAAHHHHH!" he screached.  
"oh, shit!" I said. "it's okay Miles, it's okay..." I hushed the baby, and rocked him in my arms.

well, Miles was walking, but even though he didn't make it to me, he walked! I was proud on my son. Miles was eight months old now, and growing. He actually looked a lot like me. He had the same hair style, only his hair is soft, and fuzzy. "I love you..." I whispered.

My-Our little Miles was growing...  
"should I keep this Kahl?" Eric asked.  
I nodded, "we'll show his boyfriend or girlfriend when he gets older..." I laughed.

Eric smiled. Miles was calming down, the poor baby had a bump on his forehad...aw! it was so cute!

**Ha! well, I guess Miles is growing up some huh? I'll make him older soon, Don't worry, Miles wont be a perfect little boy. He's a boy, he's bound to get in trouble soon. I'm gonna' have to make a chapter about that! (Ha Ha!) Well, I guess I'll have to write more l8er! **

**Rivews are sooo cool, and I'd love some ideas as well. **

**-Kylelover101 (hannahmariesmith46)**


	6. Chapter 6 Kindergarden 1

**:) Hi this is getting good huh? (because of my awsome reviewers!) I was thinking no one liked this story, but I wasn't expecting a ton of rivews though. I just thought no one liked this for a while. Well, I'm making Miles about four in this chapter, cuzz I wanna' get to the good shit. Is that okay? if not, fuck-yooooooou (no, really, I'm just kiddin') Well, Enjoy!**

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

Summary: This is a brief story about Cartman and Kyle, and their life after they get married. They live in a nice house in Denver, They have a ton of money, Kyle's mother has stopped calling him, but all Kyle wants...if a **family.**

**5 YEARS LATER**

**Miles P.O.V**

It was about six in the morning, I woke up, and I went downstairs.  
I smell somthing good! I saw both of my daddies at the kitchen table. "Good morning!" I shouted. "Miles!" My dad said.  
"Miles...indor voice honey..." daddy said. I have two dads, My first dad, who I call "father" his name is Eric. he's funny, especially around Uncle Stan...My second dad, who I call :"dad" his name is Kyle.

"sorry..."  
I sat at the table, and dad went to get me somthing to eat. I licked my lips to see...bacon...

"Thank oyu..." I said.  
Dad smiled. "your welcome Miles, I like hearing you use polite language..." The ting about me, is that I use a foul mouth a lot. like when I'm mad, I called my daddy a cock-sucker, because he accidently threw out my bike to Goodwill.

sometime Dad and daddy will let me say bad words. They tell me: "if you feel as if you need to get a bad word out of your mother, Miles, then you may say one..."  
but it always ends with me sitting on the toilet with soap in my mouth. oh, well. I guess I do need to stop saying those words, I'll just remember them for when I'm older. Then I'll say them

"Eat up honey, you have kindergarden today"  
I gulped...What?  
"Kahl, I'll be coming home late today, some shit-stuff...came up at the office..."  
Daddy works as a bank owner, so daddy brings home the mulah! money! I guess we are rich, we have a big house, (a really big house, it's got five floors!) three cars, and Dad already set up a collage fund for me. he wants to get a head start. I have a ton of money. I'm not old enough for an allowance though. I can't wait until I get one...

"Do...do I have to go?" I asked. I was still worried about going to school. Daddy told me that I would have fun, and I would make friends...but I don't know, I don't know if school is a good place for me, I might get a bad attidute...Dad says if I get a worse attitude then I have now, he's shipping me off to the military.

"Come on, baby...lets get your coat..." Daddy put on my bad-ass red coat. I learn all my words from my dad! hee. hee. "Alright, Miles...lets go." Daddy had a bag with him. I wonder what was inside..?

After "giving" dad a kiss goodbye, (which Dad and I agreed that we would just tell Daddy that we did, and we wouldn't have to ever!) Daddy buckled me in to my seat. After five minutes or so, we arrived at the school. It was small, with a playground in the back...the sun was shining...

"Hello!" A lady siad, "My name is Mrs. Karen, it's nice to meet you, whats your name?" She asked me.  
"daddy? am I supposed to talk to her? she's a stranger..."  
"Miles.." Daddy laughed.  
"Miles? is that your name, well then here...you get your verry own name-tag..." She put a sticker on my shirt that had my name on it.

"would you like to come in, and meet the other children?"  
I nodded, this was going to be easy, I had daddy with me! "come on daddy" I siad, tugging my dad along with me. But daddy stayed put. Sadly smiling.  
"oh! Mrs. Karen! you didn't give daddy a name-tag!"  
"no, Miles, I'm not going with you...this is school, Your going to be here for a few hours then I'll be back..." What? Daddy isn't gonna' be here? but...but I thought he would be with me!  
"but..." I started to cry, now I really didn't want to go to kindergarden...not without daddy.

"No! Daddy, I want you to stay!" I bawled, I put my hands over my eyes, I didn't want to show that I was scared. Daddy reached out his arms and pulled me into a hug. "I know, baby, I know...but you'll have lots of fun, I promise, I was scared too...I was scared on my first day of school, but it turned out to be tons of fun! you'll see...I'll be back in a few hours...alright?"

I nodded. I wanted to show that I was a big boy, and not a baby.

Dad gave me a kiss on the forehead, and let go of me, "I'll see you later Miles...have fun!" Daddy smiled, then he walked away, Mrs. Karen shut the door. I still didn't have a good feeling about all of this...

**Kyle's P.O.V**

Wow, that was tough. I didn't was Miles to feel abandoned. I really was scared on my first day of kindergarden. But thats where I met my two best friends, (and once enemy,) my husband...and other firends. I hope Miles comes running up to me saying that he has a best friends, like I did with Stan..I smiled on that memory...

_(Flashback) _

_"My name is Stan...whats yours?" The raven haird boy asked me.  
"K-Kyle"  
"well, K-Kyle...how are you?" _

_I was currently hiding in the bathroom, Crying. Because some boy  
pushed me. and now this stan boy was talking to me._

_"it's just Kyle..."  
"alright, Just Kyle..." Stan smiled.  
"Kyle!" I siad.  
"alright...Ky...thats what I'm going to call you! Ky! Ky1 your my best friend!  
Lest go fingerpaint!" _

_I met Kenny after that, we all sat together, at the small table, fingerpainting,  
talking, and acting as if we all knew each other since birth.  
_

_"Mommy! Mommy!" I ran up to my mother, who was waiting for me.  
"Guess what?" I said jumping up and down. _

_"what Bubblah?" she asked.  
"I have a super-best friend! His name is Stan!"  
After that, Stan and I (along with Kenny and Cartman) would play...(well, Cartman would pull my hair  
rip my shirts, and steel my cookies) all day in the sun...and in the classroom._

Thats the reason I treasure Stan...  
(flashback over)

I smiled on the fact that I had Stan as a friend. Kenny too. I should invite Kenny over, Miles hasn't seen him in a while, he'd like it if Kenny came over today.

I looked back at the classroom Miles was in, He will be okay. Miles is a strong boy, but somtimes very shy when knowing that Eric and I wont be there to help him. But, Miles is very caring, I just hope he's not going to be picked on at school. I wouldn't know what to do, if Miles came to me in tears saying somthing along the lines of bullying, like: "that mean boy hit me" or "those boys wont let me play with them, so I have no friends" I took a deep breath, and focused on the positive, Miles is very smart, he's brave, and he's caring to others.

I just hope he doesn't get sent to the office for calling some one a nasty name.  
I'm going to have to teach Eric a little lesson about "swearing around my precious baby boy!" I smiled, Eric and I havn't had sex in over a week, he and I are both dreading it, but Miles has to learn, not to get out of bed, I think I'll have Eric stay home today...

I smiled again, Everything was going great...so far.

**Yup! It's Kindergarden for little Miles!  
I know you all wanna' read the next chapters, but I'm gonna' be a cock-sucker and leave you hanging. sorry! Ideas for kindergarden would be great! Love to hear them rivews! lets try to get into a double-diget number huh? **

**-Kylelover101**


	7. Chapter 7 kindergarden 2

**( A/N: Well, this didn't take take long,to write...  
****Lets read on to see Miles in kindergarden. ) **

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

**Miles P.O.V**

I was quiet, I'm never quiet. I was a still a little scared about being alone without my daddies. "Hello boys and girls! Lets all tell our names to eachother and introduce one another! after that, then we'll play a fun game!"  
I didn't tell anyone my name, I was too scared to move. Everyone went around saying their names...  
"Hi, my name is Ali!"  
"hi, I'm George!"  
"Hi, I'm Samantha..."  
The list goes on...

"Well, is everyone done?" Mrs. Karen asked. "Well, lets all sit in a circle, and we will begin the game!" she smiled. "this game is called the name game! Someone will be a caller, and stand here, in the middle of the circle, when the caller calls your name, you both switch places! lets play nice and have fun!"  
"I wanna' be the caller!" a boy shouted. he looked mad, His eyes were a violent green, his face: fat and stained with chocolate.  
"Alright, Gregory...you can be the caller!"  
Gregory was standing in the middle of our circle with a big smile on his face.

"Hannah!" he called. The girl and him switched places.  
"Bridgett!" Hannah and another girl switched places agian. When it was time for Gregory to call on me, I was excided. I wanted to play, this game looked like fun. Gregory took one look at me, and smiled, but a mean smile...what did dad call it? and Evil smile**. "Colin**!" he called. That wasn't my name! the boy next to me laughed and took Gregory's place. I was shocked, Gregory knew it was my turn, but he skipped me!

That wasn't the only mean thing Gregory did to me, at recess he pushed me on the ground, thank god I wasn't on the concrete. I was on the soft grass. I found out what my daddy bought me, it was a lunch pail! inside had two slices of a sanwhich, a juice box and...cookies! I was about to eat my cookies, when Gregory took them! I still didn't say anything. I could get more cookies at home...

I looked at the clock, it was three-fifteen. I was sitting at my table...alone, when a nice boy sat next to me. "I know what gregory did..." he said. "I'm Colin, the kid who was picked, and not you..."  
"oh...hi...I'm Miles!" I smiled.  
Colin smiled back, "hey...**wanna' be super-best friends**?" I looked at Colin he had jet black hair, (kind of like my god-father Stan) hazel eyes, freckles, a small nose and a smile on his face.  
"sure!" I said, Colin sat next to me, after ten-minutes Gregory came and started yelling, "Your my friend Colin! you can't be his!"

I looked at Colin, Why couldn't Colin be my friend? "Yes, I can fat-boy! I can be friends with Miles!"  
"cannot!"  
"Can so!"  
"Cannot!"  
"can so!"  
"cannot!"  
"can so! now be quite! fat-boy, why don't you go eat the table?"  
I laughed, get it? becuase Gregory is fat..."yeahh, you were drooling on it, why not eat it while your at it?"

I laughed. but Gregory pushed Colin!  
"Colin!" I said. Colin started crying. Gregory had a smile on his face, I was pissed! (pardon my french) I was mad at Gregory, so I leaped on him, until he was pinned to the ground and punched his fat-face.  
"you retarded-fucker!" I hollered. All of the kids in the class gasped.  
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Mrs. Karen jumped in. "Miles go to the office right now!"

uh-oh...is that bad?

**Cartman's P.O.V**

I have no idea what just happened. All I know is that I'm sitting here with Kahl, and our son in the office. There's a kid outside well, two of them, crying. And they say my son is to blame. Kahl lookes like he's ready to kill. and Miles looks like he could cry at any minute.  
"So, I know it's your son's first day...and judging by what Colin said, it looks like Miles was trying to defend Colin, but, Miles, why would you hit him, didn't you go ask the teacher for help?" Like this principal is gonna' get a word in edge-wise from my son. Miles just looks sad, I know he's not going to answer.

"Miles!" Kahl shouted. "I thought I raised you not to use violance in life, and to use your words! insted you go off and start punching kids? what dorve you to do this?"  
"Kahl...just forget it..." I tried to say. I wanted to go home. I've been in this position before and I know that Miles doesn't wanna' be here.  
"Kahl, we'll talk about this when we get home, come on'"  
Kahl nodded, but in his eyes he told me: "no mercy" God, Kahl must be really pissed.

"I'm sorry..." Miles said. (Well, Kahl forced him to say it to Gregory)  
"and what do you say Gregory?" I think that was his mother that said that to the kid. Gregory looked at miles: "I'm sorry too, I accept you apology."  
Kahl and I took Miles home, Kahl I could see wasn't finish with Miles. "Sit on the couch now, Miles!" God, what the hell crawled up Kahl's ass and died? oh, well, I felt bad for the poor kid, he looked fucking scared at hell. I didn't want to get involved. So I made my way into the kichen.

Actually I just wanted to muffle out the sounds that I might hear. But I heard every word of it.

"Miles! I'm disgusted in you!"  
"I'm sorry daddy..." Miles cried.  
"No! I don't want to hear it! your grounded! two days! no TV, no Dessert, you are not allowed to play outside, and you are going to be early tonight!"  
"but, thats not fair!" Miles pointed out.

I went back to making myself a cup of coffee. Still I heard Miles cry.

"i don't care if you think it's not fair! go to your room!" Kahl screamed back.  
I heard footsteps then a door slam.  
Kahl walked into the kitchen and took in a deep breath. After a few minutes of an awkward silence, he said: "I shouldn't of done that..."  
"oh, now you think you shouldn't of?" I was pissed, this kid was being punnished for no reason! "the kid's only five! he doesn't know any better..."  
Kahl, started to cry..."Kahl?" I said.  
"I didn't want somthing like this to happen!" he cried. "I didn't want Miles to get in a fight and have to go to school, knowing that there is somone that he hates there! I just wanted him to have fun and learn somthing, not get in funkin' fights!" Kahl sank down on his knees. I felt bad for him.

"Kahl, parenting, didn't come with a manual...we just have to show Miles, that what he did was wrong, and if he wants to stick up for his friends, to use his words, and to get the teacher if things get out of hand..." Wow, I sounded like a pussy for saying that, but whatever it took to make Kahl smile, I would say it. (But, my options are limited!)

"Daddy?...daddy?" I turned around to see Miles, standing in the doorway. Trying not to cry. His eyes still looking like they were about to cry (still). "I'm sorry...I really am..." Miles sniffed.  
Kahl got up from the floor, walked over to Miles and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry too, baby. I shouldn't of over-reacted..."  
"I'm sorry too, daddy..."  
"Tell you what, If you promise not to fight anymore, I promise not to yell at you...except on Mondays..." Kahl joked. I started laughing. "HA HA! Now, remember to keep that promise Kahl! Ha haa! eh-AH!" Kalh just punched me in the stomach.  
"now anyway..." Kahl turned around, smiling at Miles, like nothing happened. That fucker!

"**Uncle Kenny, **is coming over for dinner! would you like to help me prepare dinner before he comes?" Kahl asked Miles. The look on Miles's face, was priceless. It looked like he went outside and saw a shiney new red bike. "Hell yeah! I-I mean, yes, I'd love to daddy!" Miles smiled.  
Kahl and Miles tended to dinner, while I made my way (in pain) to the computer to do my work. "ow, that fuckin' hurt Jew!" I hollered under my breath, God, I hope Kenny gets here. I havn't seen him in a while...

**Kyle's P.O.V**

Miles was indeed a good boy helping me with the dinner, we made a salad and some Polish sausage. I went to the cellar, eric and I had a ton of whine down there. I will keep beer in the fridge, but it's in the very back, so Miles doesn't get into it and misthinks it for a soda and gets drunk. I picked out some wine from a good year. I chuckled to myself. Kenny, Eric and I would have a good time tonight...

In about two hours Kenny showed up.  
"Hey, Kyle!" Kenny said. I looked at the blonde-haired-perverted boy. "Hello, Kenny, remember Miles will be joining us, so no perverted jokes tonight!" I said.  
"well, atleast you said hello..." Kenny smiled, he was wearing this (sexy) tight blue shirt, a gold-chain necklace. and black pants. While I wore something similar, but in a totaly different color. "Miles, honey, Uncle Kenny's here!" I laughed.  
there was a loud "YOO-HOO!" then a few thuds. "Uncle Kenny!" Miles shouted, he hopped over the sfoa, and jumped on Kenny. I started laughing, seeing my son knock Kenny on the ground.

"woah! little dude..." Kenny laughed.  
Miles gave Kenny a big hug. "I miss you...why don't you come more often, Daddy never lets me jump on the sofa when your not here"  
"Miles!"  
Kenny laughed. "it's all good little dude!"

I looked at the top of the stairs, there Stood Eric, holding up sign saying:

_WHEN WILL THE KID GET TO BED?_

I looked at him and mouthed "in two hours..."

After dinner, Miles was getting quiet, I knew that ment he was going to pass out. "come on Miles, bed-time" Miles obayed. (good boy!) "nighty-night uncle Kenny, good-night Dad" Miles said.  
"night bud'" Kenny and Eric said.

"Daddy?" Miles asked me, as I was helping him get dressed.  
"what Miles?"  
"can you read me a bed-time story?"  
Well, I wanted to get back to Kenny and Miles, but I immediately agreed. "what story do you wanna' hear?" I asked.  
Miles shurgged.

We picked out the story: "The Witch Next Door" Miles loves stories like that. he loves to hear about witches, goblins and monsters. Like a boy normaly does, he also like race cars, baseball and football. (Stan nearly went nuts when Miles asked for pointers on how to play! God, he was out there for hours just playing with Miles all damn day playing football)

After twenty minutes or so, Miles was out. Sleeping like a log...I was in the middle of the story, when I looked over and saw him sleeping. I smiled sweetly and kissed him on the cheek, I tucked him in a little tighter, and turned on his night-light. "sweet dreams Miles" I shut the door, softly.

"Hey, Kyle! that didn't take long huh?" Kenny asked.  
"Miles is a good boy-"  
"when he wants to be" Eric interrupted.  
"and He does what he is told and I'm proud of him" I smiled. Ignoring Eric's comment.

"Well, Kyle, not that we can have adult time...can I ask you a question?" Kenny smiled.  
"sure..." I said, this was going to be disgusting..."Well, Kyle. Your uncle Jack helps you off your hores..."  
There was a short pause..."and...?" I asked.  
"would you-" Kenny tried to not laugh..."you you...help your...uncle...jack-off?" Kenny burst out laughing.  
I got that...

"Verry funny Kenny..!"that was low, even for Kenny.

"so, how have you two love birds been...I hear Miles went to school for the first time...how was it?"  
"One question at a time Kenny..." I siad. "Eric and I have been fine. and Miles...well..he liked school-"  
"he got in a fight, and didn't loose HA! Thats meh boy! always winnin'!"  
"Eric! we are not going to encourage that behavior!"  
"I'm not encouraging him! I'm just cheerin' becuase he kicked ass!"

After twenty minutes or so, I opened the bottle of wine...It was some type of grape-cranberry shit. But It wasn't juice...it had a sweet yet tart flavor to it. I swished my last few sips in my mouth before swallowing it.  
"Well, I gotta' go, Starla, will be waitin?"  
"Starla?"  
"Yeah...My new girlfriend..."  
"well, drive safe Kenny..."

I closed the door, and went back on to the patio. Eric was starin' at the pool. "Why the hell did we get one of those?" He asked.  
"to tech Miles how to swim, I think he likes it."  
"uh...Kalh, teaching a kid how to swim means the kid has to be in the water!"  
"he's scared of drowning, He'll come in when he wants to..."  
I sighed, and poured myself another glass. Eric and I sat there in silence. I was thinkin' about somthin' when I flet somthing warm touch my hand, it was Eric's. I smiled an wrapped my hand around his.

"HOw long has it been Kalh..?" Eric asked.  
"since when?"  
"Duh...dumbass, since we had sex."  
thats true, it has been a while, well, Miles is at the age where he's curious to know what his parents to at night, so he'll tip-toe into our room to find out. eric and I were in the middle of somthing a few nights ago and he walked right in on us, thank God, We had the silk sheets over us. ?Our excuse was,:  
"sometimes, Dad and me, like to give eachother a kiss good night" Then I planted a Kiss on Eric's cheek. "See?"

I think he's still curious, and I think it's dying down, becuase we havn't had sex. But it's been over a week.  
"about two weeks..."  
Eric smiled. "**and is he asleep**?" oh...I know where he was going.  
"fast asleep...snuggle bear." I said in my cute tone.  
Eric stood up. "What the hell are we waitin for?" I smiled and let Eric pick me up bridal style and carry me into our bedroom. He lightly threw me on the climed on top of me, and kissed me roughly. "Ready kosher-boy?" Eric said in a lovey-dovey voice. I smiled, god I was ready. I let Eric unzip my pants, and we shared a plesent kiss. While he stroked my already hard penis threw my boxers. God this felt so good...

"Daddy?" Miles was standing in the door-way. holding one of his favriote stuffed bears. SHIT! "can I sleep with you...?"  
"God dammit!" Eric yelled. I couldn't help but laugh...although I was a little pissed deep inside. "alright Miles...you can sleep with Dad and I...just close your eyes for a sec" I said trying to get dressed.

**Ha! Ha! sorry, just had to do that! I've done that when I was a kid, a few times, like went into a room where somone was gettin' it on and wanted to sleep in their bed. :) LOL! well, In the next few chapters, Miles will be a little older...just to clairfy u all! alright? **

**I'll be back! (Evil laugh) **

**-Kylelover101**


	8. Chapter 8 Here we come! 1

**Everyone! I am going to jump ahead a little, In this chapter Miles is adjusting to kindergarten, and is turning six years-old! And what better way for a birthday party to be at an amusement park? Sound cool? **

**Well, I hope you all enjoy! **

**(Yes…Kenny will be in this chapter :)**** ) **

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

By: Kylelover101

**HERE WE COME! (PART 1)**

**Kyle's P.O.V**

I've been counting down the days, (just like my little Miles) till his birthday. Miles was turning six! My little baby-boy! I giggled on the fact of seeing my little boy turning six! I wonder if my mother felt like this on my birthdays? I wonder…

Well, aside from seeing Miles jump for joy (and acting like a good boy) wondering what he'll get is half the fun.

I asked Eric what he was getting Miles for his birthday, and he chuckled.  
"Ever heard of a surprise, Jew? Or were you handed everything? Well, don't answer that, you always were"

I tackled him. And I would then smother him with kisses. I have spoiled Miles I'll admit that, I'd take him out for ice-cream, I'd buy him a toy (on a rare occasion) but most of the time, we'd go to the park.

It was two days before Miles would turn six. And we were having dinner. I smiled looking at Miles eat all his food. (I told him, if he wouldn't at least try new food, he wouldn't be having a birthday, so I went a little hay-wire on the food, I made a casserole that had every vegetable in it! , Miles hates that!) I was pleased at this site.

Eric had something to say.

"Miles…how old are you gonna' be?"  
Miles looked up. "Dad! You know how old I'm gonna' be! I'm gonna' be six!" Miles smiled with pride. I have a feeling I'm gonna' see that same smile on his sixteenth, and twenty-first birthdays (And on his Bar-Mitzvah).

Eric looked at me.

"you think this kid's tall enough to ride a roller coaster?"

I gave Eric a blank look. "What…?" I said.  
Miles gasped; he knew where this was going.

"What say you, and I take Miles, to Disney world?" Cartman asked. I was stunned. But the look on Miles to me that, we have to go.

"What do you think Miles? Do you want to go?"  
Miles nodded his head, "Can uncle Kenny and uncle Stan come?" Was the first thing out of his mouth, he was that shocked that we were going to Disney World. I kissed him on the forehead. "Remember, you still need to be a good boy, otherwise dad, and I'll take the tickets….and go ourselves!" Eric joked.  
though Miles didn't seem to laugh along, actually I think Cartman scared him. I smiled. "Miles, you need to eat, then I'll call Stan and Kenny."

Miles, not only counted the days till his birthday, but to Disney World now.

The first thing he did when I dropped him off at school, was tell his friends he was going to Disney world. The look on their faces, brought a bit of jealousy, I started to worry. I didn't want Miles to loose friend because of a birthday present.

I was doing laundry at home when the phone rang. Usually when the phone rang, I wasn't too concerned, it was usually my mother or some operator. I answered with a friendly "Hello?" My face dropped when I heard it was the school nurse…..saying that Miles was in the clinic.

Without hesitating, I quickly started up the car, and drove to the school. Why was Miles in the clinic? Maybe he got sick….He did look a little pale this morning…I pulled into a parking place, and rushed into the school. What was going on?

**Miles's P.O.V **

I bet your wondering what I'm doing in the clinic. Well, the truth was, I got into a fight, but I wont say that, because I really want to go to Disney World! Tomorrow is my birthday, (on Saturday! Good time to have your birthday!) and then Dad said that we would go to Disney world over our winter break…I didn't wanna' loose the trip! I wanted to go to Disney world….

I was currently holding a tissue up to my bloody nose. I got into a fight with Gregory, I punched him in the eye, and he socked me with a bloody nose. I pushed him into the mud and he got dirt in his eyes, he was crying like a baby! I wasn't!

"Miles?" was that daddy?

I looked up and saw daddy hugging me. "what happened?"  
he asked. I knew if I told him the truth, I might not get to go to Disney world...So I said somthing that made daddy cry when he watched it on TV. "Gregory...called me a...gaybie...cuz...I have two...daddies..."I added a cry at the end. Well, that was the truth, he did call me names.

Daddy looked scared. He wrapped his arms around me. "ssh," he said. "it's alright...I'll take you home..."

Thats what dad did, I smiled. But I also felt crummy. "Daddy?" I said, on the car ride home.  
"yeah, son?" Daddy looked at me in the mirror.  
"I-I-" I stampered. I wanted to tell Daddy the truth. "I'll...tell you when we get home..."  
"alright..."

We got into the door and took off our coats. Daddy and I sat on the white sofa. "Miles? is there somthing you wanted to tell me?" Daddy asked.  
"yes...I...kinda' lied..."  
"lied?" Daddy asked.  
"I was telling my friends at school about me getting to go to Disney World, I guess I was bragging...and...Gregory got mad, and called me a name, and teased me about having two daddies, I got really mad then, and...I...I started the fight daddy...I'm sorry...Please don't take my birthday-party away...I...I want to go...to Disney World..."

I held on to daddy, I really did want to go to Disney World. I was scared, what if daddy tells my other daddy that the party is off?  
"Miles...I'm not mad...actually, I'm more scared then mad."  
I looked at my daddy, he was...scared? "why daddy? why are you scared?"

Daddy ruffled my light-red hair. "no reason, has your nose stopped bleeding?"  
"yes, daddy"  
"alright...we've had enough excitement for one-day...you need a nap, come on'"  
I was feeling a little tired. Daddy read me a story...but I think daddy was more tired then me, because he fell asleep. I yawned and fell asleep myself...today, was a scary day.

**Cartman's P.O.V**

I usually come home for lunch when I don't go anywhere with my co-workers. I smiled on the fact of seeing a red-headed Jew, wearing a pink apron...  
"Hello, cartman...let...me...suck your balls...sweet husband..." I could imagine that!

I opened the door, and somthing was odd. I saw the kid's backpack...What was Miles doing home?  
I groned. God...That kid ruiens everything! Sometimes...It gets on my nerves that I have to sacrfice watching Comedy Centeral, or MTV, or hell, even Terrance and Phillip! (even if they're nothing but re-runs) I hate it! I can't watch my TV showes because that kid's coloring, or eating somthing in the same room!

"Kalh?" I called. Where the fuck was he?

"Oh, cartman...hello...are you on you luch break?"  
I entered the kitchen to see Miles having some soup and sandwhiches. He turned around and smiled at me. God...I smiled back though...I didn't want the kid hating me.

"yes...then I have to go back, I'm gonna' be working late again tonight..."  
Kalh looked really sad. "oh..well, then I guess it's just me and Miles, huh baby?" Kahl smiled at Miles.  
"I'm not a baby dad..." Miles said.  
"precicely...you a brat..." I said under my breath. Thank God he dind't hear me. But Kalh did.

"well, you are a fat-ass!" Kalh said.  
"stupid Jew!" I responded  
"boner bitter!" he shouted  
"cock-sucker!" I stated  
Kalh, licked his lips. God! I know what he was thinking! I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "later...later tonight."

I ate some of Kalh's luch, and went back to work. I really didn't give two-shits why Miles was there, but all I knew was, I had to call Kenny...  
"Kenny...Miles is having a birthday at Disney World...he wants you to go..."  
"disney World! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,!" Kenny started yelling as if he's never been there (well he hasn't because I still think of him as a poor piece of shit!)

"oh...god..."

**TWO DAYS LATER...**

**Kyle's P.O.V**

Finally! It's his birthday...  
I let Miles sleep in for a few more minutes..then I would wake him up for breakfast. I made pancakes, and turkey bacon. (Eric quickly noticed that it wasn't real bacon on our honey-moon..I felt sorry for him that my religon was getting in his way...so, as a make up, I made...ham. It was really good. well, It smelled really good, I took no part in it with eating it. I've never seen eric so hapy...)

I went up to Miles's room. The poor kid stood up all night waiting for his birthday, it was hard for him to fall asleep. I went in his room and shook him lightly. "Miles...wae up...happy birthday"  
Miles woke up his eyes wide, and a smile on his face.  
"I'm six!" he souted. "woo-hoo! I'm six, i'm six, i'm six!" he ran around his room, cheering.  
I laughed a little, "coome on...breakfast is ready..."

Miles at his breakfast and is now sitting on the couch watching TV. I was currently washing dishes, when the phone rang.  
"Hello?" I asked. "Cartman residence," Yes, I do say that...it's just comman politeness, people.  
"Kyle...it's your mother, is today my grandson's birthday?"

"yes, mom it is!" I smiled. "are...are you going to come over?" I asked. Ever since Miles came home, my mother and Eric have had their necks up in high water, with each other. Eric has never like my mother, and the same with my mother not liking Eric. When I told my mother that I was gay, she was still accepting, just...not as much when I told her my boyfriend was Eric Cartman.

"May I talk to Miles?" she asked not responding to my question.  
"of course...Miles!" I called.  
"what, daddy?" Miles said.  
"telephone...it's grandma..." I smiled.

"hello, grandma!" Miles had a smile on his face. I went back to doing the dishes.  
"I'm six now!" Miles responded to whatever my mother asked.  
"are you gonna' come over?" Miles asked. I looked over at Miles, but saw his face drop. What had my mother said to him?  
"oh...okay...thank you...bye" Miles hung up the phone, and went back to cartoons. I was shocked, what did my mother say?

I sighed, she probably said she wasn't coming.  
I sat at the table, I felt horrible...for some reason. I don't know what crawled up my mother's ass and died, but she didn't ahve to take it out on my son. after five minutes, Eric came down stairs. I think he saw the sad look on Miles's face, because he said:

"Oh...well, today is just a normal day!"  
"No, it's not daddy! it's my birthday!"  
"Ah! Miles, I remember, your birthday was last year..."  
"But it comes again!" Miles laughed.  
"Well, then if it is your birthday...then I guess you can go look in the garage..."

I looked up, what had Eric bouthen Miles? I saw Miles race to the garage...  
"Eric, what did you give Miles?"  
"well, Kalh...I think you'll find out..." A few seconds later, there was a scream...  
"Oh My god!" Miles screamed.  
I raced myself into the garage, to see Miles jumping next to a new, shiney, red bike. "It's a bike!" Miles shouted with joy.

I sighed. Oh...you didn't Eric...I smiled. I looked behind me to see Eric smiling as well.  
"how do I get on?" Miles asked.

I wanted to cry seeing Cartman teach Miles how to ride a bike. Cartman was holdng on the back side of the bike while Miles was trying to steer.  
"there ya' go Miles!" Eric smiled. I saw the joy on Miles's face...I guess Miles always did like Eric. But, I still couldn't wait for KEnny and Stan to see my boy ride his bike.

* * *

**Alright, alright...no need for the extra applause. Well, just to info ya' this is just the start of the birthday chapters, there will be five birthday chapters. and there is a chapter for all you Stenny, and Kyman fans! it's coming up soon!  
Also, there will be a famous somg coming up in the next two chapters or so, Cartman sang it once in season 13. Thats for all u to find out!**

**:)**

**Well, until next time!**

**:)**

**-Kylelover101 **


	9. Chapter 9 here we come 2

**Well, I hope you all enjoy! **

**(Yes…Kenny will be in this chapter, Stan too! :)**** ) **

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

By: Kylelover101

**HERE WE COME! (PART 2)**

* * *

**Miles's P.O.V**

Wow! a red bike for my birthday! I've been wanting a bike ever sine I was five! but daddy said I would be too little to ride the "big-kid's" bike. so, I had to do a lot of growing in order to ride that bike!

I smiled, I got a bike!  
I was helping daddy set up stuff for my birthday when the doorbell rang. It was uncle Kenny and uncle Stan! "daddy!" I called. "they're here!" I admitt, I started bouncing off the walls. I was excited! uncle Stan and uncle Kenny were my most favriote people of all time! (acept both my daddies) After Uncle Stan and Kenny came in the room, I went to the garage to show them my bike!

"Look, it has a shock abosrber!" I said. "so, when I'm going down some big hill, I'll go even faster!"  
"ha! and bash into a tree!" Kenny joked.  
Daddy's eyes went wide. I think uncle Kenny scared him.

"don't worry, daddy, I wont go too fast" I said. Daddy, (put me in yet another embarassing moment) kissed me on the cheek.  
"I know, I trust you..."  
"uncle Kenny, do you wanna' try my bike?"  
"nah...it's your present...you go have fun-alright! I'll ride!" It looks like Uncle kenny really did wanna' ride my bike! we went outside to the big driveway, and I saw all the neat tricks uncle Kenny could do.

This birthday was the bomb!

**Stan's P.O.V**

"Kenny, really is amazing..." I said.  
"yes, Arn't you glad I hooked you two up?" Kyle asked. I'm sure he felt proud of himself.  
"yes." I admitted.

"What the fuck is that blonde doing with Miles?" :I noticed Cartman looking out the big kitchen window. I looked outside, I saw Kenny do awesome tricks, and trying to show Miles how to do them. I smiled, I wish someday, Kenny and I would adopt a child.  
"aren't they happy?" I asked. Knowing it would piss off fat-ass.  
"yeah..." Cartman grumbled. "but I'm better!" and with that, Eric ran out the kitchen door.  
"huh?" Kyle asked.  
"this can't end well..." I said. Knowing Cartman, he'll probably break that bike with his fat-ass.

**Miles's P.O.V**

Uncle Kenny, I guess you could say...is my hero. We did a project at school, about our hero's Everyone did a fireman, or a nurse. I did my uncle. Everyone laughed when I said that Uncle Kenny can make his farts talk.  
I don't think my teacher liked that though. But uncle Kenny could do all these neat things on a bike!

He could hop on one tire...(A wheely is what he called it), he can flip the bike, he can do all sorts of things!

Daddy kina' ruiend our fun by saying the cake was finished. I love daddy's cakes...He said he was going to make an ubber-super-special cake just for me!

Uncle Kenny helped put my bike away and we both went inside. 

We just got done singing "Happy birthday" to me and now I was opening presents from my uncles and my grandparents. My grandma and Grandpa on my daddy's side, got me a few new shirts and pants...and some jackets. I didn't mind they looked cool!  
My uncle Ike got me a card...but what was inside mattered...I got ten dollars, and note saying that he and I were going ice skating this winter!

MY uncles both bought me somthing in a big...huge box. I would haveta' open that last. By their request. My daddy told me to ask if uncle KEnny and uncle Stan ould like to go to Disney world with us.

"Uncle Kenny, uncle stan?" I saw them sitting together on the couch, they sit like my daddie do, with their legs crossed and their hands together. Uncle Stan looked up.  
"yesh...kid?" he asked.

"My daddy said I get to go to disney world for my birthday...but it's on saturday...can you come?" I asked.  
they said they would come!

Wow! today was great!

Daddy was tucking me in for the night. "how did you like your birthday, Miles?" He asked.  
"I loved it! uncle Kenny and uncle Stan are coming to disney world with us and I got a new bike!" I was sure as hell happy!

Daddy smiled then kissed me on the cheek. "good night baby.."  
"I'm not a baby daddy..." I said quietly.  
"I know...but you'll always be my baby" Daddy then hugged...more liked squeezed me. "good night Miles...only one more week to disney world.."

I smiled. Then shut my eyes...only one more week...

**Kyle's P.O.V**

_"I'm not a baby daddy..." _I wish he would stay a baby though...I sighed, as I closed the door gently to my son's room. I felt a tear go down my cheek, my boy, my precious baby boy...was six!  
It seemed like yesterday, I brought him home with Eric, my mother throwing a fit about religion and eRic standing up for me.

but the look on Miles's face...was a happy one today. he's so happy about going to disney world. I smiled. I walked into the bedroom Eric and I share. Eric was taking Kenny and Stan home, because their car broke down so they had to walk here. I wasn't gonna' let them walk home in the dark, I had to do that plent of times, nad I didn't like it one bit.

I realized somthing...Eric and I, haven't made love to each other in over three months...thats unacceptable...  
I smiled to myself, as I slipped on a short...black silky nightgown I bouth for myself at victoria's secret. I told the clerk it was for my wife. she gave me an evil smile...creepy.

I saw the head lights of the car in the driveway so I turned off the lights, and laied on the bed. In a sexy pose, oh, boy was Eric gonna' be happy tonight!

* * *

**I know! I gotta' write the sex chapter...but I'm gonna' make it a separate chapter...so lets see it I get more rwviews that way...I'm glad everyone likes my outsiders stories...**

untill next time! 

**-Kylelover101**

**R&R please...no flames...falmers will be put on fire themselves for turning others down! **


	10. Chapter 10 Here we come! 3

**Well, I hope you all enjoy! **

**WARNING: LOTS OF SMEX!**

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

By: Kylelover101

**HERE WE COME! (PART 3)**

* * *

**Cartman's P.O.V**

I don't know what the fuck turned Kahl on, but I liked what ever he smoked. I'm gonna' buy red wine more often. I walked into my bedroom to see the lights turned off, I though Kahl was sleeping so I just slipped into bed, but found something...slutty.

"hey, sexy...wanna' do somthing?" Kalh asked.  
"Kahl?" I turned my lamp on. to find a fuckin' sexy jew. "Holy shit!" I screamed. Kyle gave me a sexy smile and planted his soft, pink lips to mine. I took the opertunity and let my toung explore his mouth.  
Soft moans came from Kyle. After about five minutes of making out I started letting Kyle take off my shirt and tie.  
"How long...has it been?" I asked.  
"two weeks...unacceptable. So, I figured...since Miles is sleeping we could have a little, "Mommy and Daddy" time" H giggled. God he was fucking cute!

I managed to get him and myself naked when I turned him around and started rubbing his enterance. He had flipped back to look at me and had hold of my shoulders. I smiled and kissed him. When he looked ready for me to take him in, I put my dick in his ass, little by little and started thrusting.  
"Ah!...Eric!" Kahl moaned.  
God, I loved hearing him moan my name. I thrusted faster, and faster. Making him moan even more.

I exploded inside him, as he did on himself. He phanted, and I pulled myself out of him and layed down next to him.  
"I...I love you so much, baby." Kyle wrapped his arms around my neck and I pulled him in closer, I rubbed his back in small circles.  
"I love you too, Kahl...now get some sleep...goodnight."  
"goodnight." Kyle said, and we both drifted off to sleep.

**Miles's P.O.V**

"Miles, stay close to me, I don't want you to get lost." Dad said. I took hold of his hand.  
"Kay' Daddy." I said. We are at Disney World! I'm so happy! It was a long flight, but it was worth it. We are in the parking lot And uncle Stan and Uncle Kenny are with us too! I'm so happy! Dad is paying for our tickets.  
"Miles...what do you wanna' do?" Dad asked me.  
"Um...lets look around first, and if we see somthing we like, then we'll go on it!" I smiled.  
Dad smiled at me. "That was an adult thing to say!" Dad smiled again.  
I smiled.  
"I love you!" I had no idea where that came from, but all of a sudden, dad is hugging and swinging me around.

"Daddy!" I smiled. "Put me down..."  
Dad did just that, and my other daddy came back.

"Goddamit!" Kalh, a fucking beaner gave me these tickets!"  
"Cartman! watch your mouth!" Stan said.  
"yeah...don't over-react here at Disney World, like you did at Pipi's waterpark when we were nine." Kenny said.  
"Shut up! ya' poor piece of crap!"  
"Cartman!" daddy yelled.

"Alright, Kenny and Stan, Miles and I are going to get some snacks, we'll be right back...cartman? Cartman?" Where was daddy?  
"oh...no.." Daddy pinched the bridge of his nose, I look over to see daddy dancing around singing.

"There are too many minorities (minorities)  
At my Disney park (my Disney park)  
This was our land, our dream (our dream)  
and they've taken it all away"

"Whats going on?" I asked.  
"Nothing" Daddy smiled. "Lets go get some snacks.

"Okay!" I held daddy's hand. I wish I never let go, other wise, it wouldn't of happened to me.

**Kenny's P.O.V**

I took a sip of my soda, and looked at Stan. he had been quiet for a while, He looked like somthing was bothering him. I had turned a blind eye to it, but since we were sitting at a table And are alone-(Miles is with Kyle getting snacks and cartman is still singing that fuckin' rasist song)- I wanted to ask him what was the matter.

"Whats wrong babe?" I asked.  
Stan looked at me with those sexy blue eyes.  
"Nothing." He replied.  
"aw...you can tell me." I said.  
"you might not wanna' do it."  
"What are you talkin' about? I'm horny all the time." I joked.  
"No! not that!" He sounded mad. "forget it!"  
I pulled him back down to the table and held his hand.

"Seriously...what's wrong?" I asked again.  
"well," He started. "I've been thinking, since you are gone all morning, and I don't really wanna' be left alone...I was wondering...maybe, we could...adopt?" He asked.  
I raised my eyebrows. I wanted Stan to be happy, I really did, but, we've only been married about three months, isn't it a bit early? But, then I thought about how loanly he's been...

"We're naming it...Godzilla" I joked.  
"Anything! anything to have a child!" He smiled. and hugged me. I loved to see my baby happy.  
"you...aren't serious on Godzilla...right?" He asked. As if! I laughed, but stopped when I saw Kyle...running up to us.

"Have you two seen Miles? did he come back here?" He asked.  
"no," I pulled away from Stan. "isn't he with you?"  
"OH, MY GOD!" Kyle yelled.

**Cartman's P.O.V **

"God I'm asking please  
Get all of these minorities  
Out of my Disney park (my Disney park)"  
I sang. I saw only 24% of white people here at Disney World, this is an outrage!

"Cartman! Cartman!" I turned to see Stan and Kenny call my name. And...why was Kyle crying? Oh, God, I'm gonna' kick someone's ass if they hurt him!

"Kahl! Whats wrong?" I asked.  
"Eric..." He managed to cry out.  
"look, we got a problem...there are only 24% while people here at Disney world! we gotta' stope this!" I said.  
"I-I...I'm a horrible...parent!" Kahl cried.

I cocked an eyebrow.  
"what makes you say that?" I asked.  
"I lost Miles!" He cried out. Lost Miles? Oh...Shit...

* * *

**Oh, Shit indeed. Well, R&R I also need a search Party! Everyone! Miles is missing!  
AAAAHHHH! (is what Kyle is screaming) **

**-Kylelover101**

**R&R please...no flames...falmers will be put on fire themselves for turning others down! **


	11. Chapter 11 lost and found

**Oh, no! Miles is lost at Disney World! well, lets go with the gang and help find them...you help by reading! (that doesn't seem like much help actually...) **

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

By: Kylelover101

**(Lost and found) **

Enjoy! :)

* * *

**Miles's P.O.V**

Daddy and I left uncle Kenny and Uncle Stan at a table so we could get something to eat. Daddy and I went to the ordering table, and I saw Micky Mouse! I smiled. I wanted to meet him! I let go of Daddy's hand, but he didn't notice, he was too busy ordering and trying to get money out of his wallet. I ran over to Mickey, and we danced a little with other kids, some teenagers and adults. About three minutes later, Mickey left. I went back to Daddy, but I realized he wasn't there! Oh, no...I'm lost...

I started wandering around looking for them, but I always wound up back at the ordering stand oh, no...

It was warm to start out with that day, but it was getting a bit chilly. It started to get dark too. the lights came on, on the rides, but I was still lost. I got fed up and started crying.

"Daddy!" I called. I looked around for my uncles, but they too are no where to be found.

"Daddy!" I called. Just then, an officer came up and kneeled down to me.  
"are you lost son?" He asked me. I knew he was a cop, one came to our school and told us that cops are there to help us. Daddy told me, that if I was lost to have a poliece officer help me.

"yes..."I said, with tears in my eyes.  
"Well, son...I'm going to take you to my office, we will find your parents...don't worry." He was nice, even if he did look old.

I was sitting in a shair eating some cotton candy. A nice lady at a front desk went out and got me some. I was still worried where my daddy's are at. I couldn't help but cry some more. I wanted daddy so bad...I wanted my uncles too. I started crying again. I may be a tought kid at times, but I cry too. I'm human as well.  
"Son?" The cop asked. "May I have your name?"  
"M-Miles..." I said.  
"Miles...what is your last name?" He asked.  
"C-Cartman." I said.  
"what are your parent's names?" He asked.  
"Kyle...and Eric." I said.  
He looked at me funny, I guess he didn't know I had two daddies. I too was confused that I had two dads, some boys and girls in my class had one dad, and a thing called a "mom." some kids only had a dad or just a mom. I was the only one with two dads.

"Well, I'll announce that I found you on the intercom, they will hear me, nad come get you, alright?" He patted me on the back. And smiled. I hope they come soon...

**Kyle's P.O.V**

I'm a bad parent...I'm a bad parent...  
I should be locked up. God, why did this had to happen? I cried. It was five o' clock, I lost Miles four hours ago...that four hours of not know where my baby is at!  
"Eric...what if he was kidnapped..." I cried even harder on the thought of that, who knows where Miles is at?  
"Kyle...we'll find him...it's okay..." Eric coaxed me.

God, I wanted to die!

_"THERE IS A LITTLE BOY BY THE NAME OF MILES CARTMAN IN THE OFFICE, WOULD THE PARENTS PLEASE COME FOR THE MISSING BOY?...AND WOULD JANITOR, DAN PLEASE BRING A MOP..."_

"Miles!" I said, I looked on the map to see that the office wasn't too far away, I fucking ran for it. I wanted my baby!  
"God, damn Kyle, wait up!" Eric said, huffing and puffing running behind me.

I opened the door and went to the lady at the front desk, she led me over to Miles, who was a police office.  
I saw Miles!  
I ran over to him, and hugged the living daylights out of him.

"Daddy..." Miles cried.  
"sssh...it's okay..." I said. rubbing his back. "It's alright...I'm here." I said.  
The poor kid was shaking. I was about to cry again, when an officer came in as well as a janitor.  
"Hello, I'm officer Mike, I found Miles crying next to a park Ride, I brought him here, but he got sick because he was crying for a while and wouldn't calm down." Officer Mike responded.  
I smiled sadly, and wipped tears away from Miles's eyes and cheeks. Miles seemed cold, so I pulled his hoodie out from a bag I had and put it on him.

"Thank you, so much." I said, hugging Miles again.  
"no, problem, it's my job sir." He smiled.

Miles was still upset that he wandered off I know it's rude of me to like it that he was apologizing ever five seconds...but I could get used to it.  
We left the park at closing time. Miles was tuckered out. I smiled on the sight of seeing Cartman carry him, I saw stan approch me, saying that he and Kenny were going to adopt...I l loved my friends and family...I wouldn't know what to do, if any of them were taken from me.

I helped Cartman tuck Miles in at the hotel we were staying at, Kenny and Stan are just down the hall...and we didn't want to disturb them. (hee hee)

"Wow...didn't take the kid long to go to sleep" Eric commented.  
I smiled. "Yup. well after what happened today, I guess he would be tired." I said.

Eric kissed me on the cheek...  
"how long has it been...since we last...you know?" He asked.

I smiled. "over 26 hours ago, Cartman."  
"Thats unacceptable..." he stole my words, but I let him pick me up and carry me to the other bedroom.

* * *

until next time!  
Call of the search guys we found Miles!

-Kylelover101

R&R please, no flames.


	12. Chapter 12  Grandma Shelia

**Miles is found! Phew...Comtinue reading, I want atleast four or five reviews please. **

Story: I'm married to a Jew.

By: Kylelover101

**(Lost and found) **

Enjoy! :)

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**Miles's P.O.V**

I woke up to Daddy shaking me lightly. It was very early in the morning.  
"Miles...wake up hon."  
I looked at the clock it was five in the morning.  
"Noooo...too early, I wanna' sleep." I said.  
"Miles...we have to catch our plane, you can sleep on the plan ride home...lets go.." Daddy's soothing words told me. I let daddy dress me and gather the stuff I packed last night, I didn't forget anything.  
I did fall asleep on the plane ride home, and most of the car ride home as well. It was about ten-thirty when I got home, I was happy to be found. I didn't like it that I was lost. I thought I was a goner and that I wouldn't ever see my dad's ever again.

THE NEXT DAY...

I was in my room, talking to my stuffed animals telling them about Disney World, (since they couldn't come).

"And, they have a ride, where it takes you up in the air...well, they have a lot of rides that do that, I rode on the tea cups with my uncle Stan." I said. "It was fun...acept for the part that I got lost. It scared me shitless"  
"MILES!" I turned to see daddy, standing in the doorway. He wasn't too happy that I said that.  
"Which is a bad word, you know, shitless, so...don't ever say that word, okay? Baber?" I said to my stuffed elephant.

Daddy shook his head but smiled.  
"Miles...if I call up Grandma, would you like to go to a craft store with her?" Daddy asked.  
"Okay!" I smiled. I loved going places with my grandma! I never get to go anywhere with her because she already has plans with my Cousin. Oh, My uncle Ike got married right after my dad's did he married a nice girl named Haley. They have a daughter, Sophie. I like playing with Sophie. Though, Grandma, I don't think it's true, but...I think grandma, would rather spend time with Sophie, then me...I know it dumb to think like that but, I can't help but feel, that...that's the cause.  
I smiled, and put on some clothes...I wanted to go see the crafts...it sounded like fun!

**Kyle's P.O.V**

I called up Ike. I wanted to see if my mother was avaliable. Miles really likes my mother, but I hate it that she'll knowingly tell Miles that the two of them will do somthing, but then at the last minute, she'll quit plans with my son and go off with Ike's daughter doing somthing.

I know she likes her, but she wont make room for her grandson?

I let the phone ring. Ike picked it up.

"Hello?"  
"Hey, Ike, it's kyle."  
"Hey, Big bro...whats up?"  
"nothing, I was wondering if Miles was ready to go with mom to the craft show."  
Ike was silent.

"Ike?" I asked.  
"Kyle...she did it again."  
"did what? who?"  
"Mom, she took Sohpie to the show..."  
I was silent. my insides started to queeze and burn...

"Kyle, If I'd knew she'd do this...I'm sorry, Kyle? Kyle? are you there? Kyle? can you answer me? Kyle, Kyle?"  
"bye..." I said quietly.  
Ike sighed. "Bye...I'm sorry." I hung up  
I started to cry...why does she do this? Miles loves seeing her. "Well, Mom, I'm sorry if Miles is only half-Jewish, and isn't a girl!" I cried out. I started walking into the kitchen. still ranting about my mother. I sighed, Eric was at the office working and I guess I was taking Miles to the craft show, just the two of us.

Miles loves seeing the crafts being made and stiched together. After the show, (it wasn't really a show more like watching people just stitch stuff together) I decided that Miles was able to get somthing...I think Miles was a little excited when I told him he was going with my mother.

He (unlike a lot of people in this world) adore my mother. He looks up to her and respects her. But she brusehs him away! It makes me so mad!

I sighed...I'll just take Miles to the park or somthing...I just hope that's enough to make him not think about my mother.

* * *

until next time!  
-Kylelover101

R&R please, no flames.


	13. SOS Author's note

**HEY! EVERYONE! How is everyone doing? Well, I'm fine...I just have writer's block, I need ideas for the next chapter...also, I'm going to need...baby...names! :) **

**It's between: **

**Hannah-Marie (Girl)**

**or**

**James (Boy) **

**This will help me in the story...**

**Please, Please help! **

**(I want atleast 7 or 8 reviews please!) **

**thank you!**

**-Kylelover101**


	14. Chapter 14 New baby

**AND THE WINNER IS: **

**HANNAH-MARIE!**

**Enjoy! (you'****ll find out why I asked you that question later in this chapter)**

**-Kylelover101**

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

"Dad! I'm not a baby!" Miles wasn't letting me comb his hair like he used to let me. I loved brushing his soft strawberry-blonde hair I made it softer and cleaned it out so it didn't look notted or tangled.

"Oh...okay" I said.

I was noticing Miles was trying to well, act grown up. He didn't like it that I was tucking him in at night. He didn't want me to pour him baths, he didn't like it that I held his hand in public places...

I smiled. Miles was trying to act like an adult, and it was cute!

"Can I help you with that?" I asked. I notice Miles was trying to get dressed.

"NO! Now go away!" Miles shut the door on me! I stood shocked. Miles was never rude of loud like this...What has gotten into him?

When it was time to take him to school, I walked him to the door-way.

"Have a nice day, Miley-Miles!" I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Will you stop?" He yelled. "I'm not a baby! Stop treating me like one!"

I nodded and waved good-bye. Trying not to cry. I sat in my car for a few minutes befor edriving away. Sometimes it helped to take a breather...I found the house to be empty so Eric must of went to work. I sighed, it really got depressing to be alone. The house hold chores were done, so I had...nothing...to do.

I took down a photo album of Miles's baby pictures. I smiled remembering how small and little he was (and still is). I remember the social lady at the adoption center telling me and Eric how Miles was molested and breathed in drugs...I wanted to protect Miles as much as I could...I can't hold on to him forever, I'll be like my mother if I let go too soon or if I keep holding on.

Then I realized, maybe, just maybe Eric would let me adopt again...

It took me a lot of begging to adopt Miles.

_(Flash back)_

_"But Eric, we will be taking in a child who was unwanted, or couldn't be taken care of, It'll make me happy..." I started circling his chest with my finger. _

_"no!" he said still, and went back to the dinner I made. I had a sad look on his face.  
"Fuck you Eric! you can sleep on the couch tonight!" and with that I left the kitchen.  
"Kahl!" Eric started chasing after me "Kahl! wait!" too last I slammed the door in his face._

_I sobbed, all I wanted was a child..._

_(Flashback over)_

And now! I have my Miles. Though He still wasn't a baby...I think maybe I'll talk to Eric when he gets home for lunch. I can't wait to tell him that I want another baby! And this time, it'll be a girl!

* * *

**Thank you loyal fans!**

**The baby Kyle wants will be a girl...will Eric and Miles accept the fact that Kyle wants another baby? **

**R&R**

**I want 5 of them please!**

**-Kylelover101**


	15. Chapter 15 Kyle's thoughts and Stenny

**AND THE WINNER IS: **

**HANNAH-MARIE!**

**Enjoy! (you'****ll find out why I asked you that question later in this chapter)**

**-Kylelover101**

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

"Eric?" I asked. Eric had just came home for lunch and I was trying to bring on the topic of a baby.

"Remember when Miles was a teeny-tiny little thing?" I asked. I showed him the baby picture of my holding Miles but Miles was too busy hitting Eric in the head with his rattle to notice the camera.

"Yeah...unfortunately" Eric mumbled.

"Well...I was thinking...maybe..." I started.

Eric's eyes widened. Oh, Shit, he figured me out! how do I sort this out now?

"Maybe...we could have another baby..." I said.

Eric fainted. "Eric?" I called.

* * *

**Cartman's POV**

"Another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby, another baby..."

The words spun around in my head...He want's ANOTHER KID?

Why? Isn't Miles enough of a brat around the house?

I think I was going to puke, Kyle can't be serious can he?

* * *

**Stan's POV**

"How, are we going to tell them?" I asked happliy. Kenny and I are going to adopt a child of our own! Isn't it wonderful, World? I smiled I've always thought of being a dad when I was growing up. Well, looking on my child hood and how much of an idiot my father was I hope I don't turn out like him...Not to insult him, but he is an idiot.

"Together." Kenny said and held my hand.

We opened the door to Kyle and Cartman's house just in time to see Kyle frantically put Eric on the couch.

"What happened?" I asked.

"did you tell him he wasn't allowed to have snacks before sex?" Kenny asked and then laughed.

"No," Kyle said. "I said I wanted another baby around the house and he fainted."

"Oh, what a coin-key-dink.." Kenny said. "Stan and I are adopting!"

I blushed.

"Congradulations!" Kyle said.

"Should we tell Eric?" Kenny asked.

"When he wakes up and after I give him his afternoon snack." Kyle said.

"Sex?" Kenny asked.

Kyle and I blushed.

"Kenny!" I said. "Don't say that it's rude!"

"And crude" Kyle added.

"Hey, I'm the Perv of the gang." Kenny smiled.

"Yeah, but you're MY perv." I said.

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

After Kenny and Stan gave Me (and Eric) then news of them adopting. They left to fill out the papers for their future child. I sat next to Eric hoping he would wake up soon.

Wait.

What if Miles doesn't like the idea of a new sister?

My stomach flipped and flopped at the thought of that. But then again would he be protective of her? I hope it was that and not him regecting her. Oh, God I hope he wont!

* * *

**Thank you loyal fans!**

**The baby Kyle wants will be a girl...will Eric and Miles accept the fact that Kyle wants another baby? **

**R&R**

**I want 5 of them please!**

**-Kylelover101**


	16. Chapter 16 AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **

**Hey,**

**I need some ideas on Miles's reaction to Kyle telling him about his new baby sister on the way, can anyone give me an idea as to if he'll be accepting or not? **

**Please, that'll help me a lot! **

**FIRST FIVE REVIEWERS GET THEIR IDEA PUBLISHED. **

**-Kylelover101 **


	17. Chapter 17 curious, but not accepting!

**Alright, we are back on track, I thank everyone for their ideas! Well, you know what's instored. I hope you all like this chapter! :)**

**-Kylelover101 (I DON'T OWN SOUTH PARK)**

* * *

**Miles's POV**

I was waiting for my dad to pick me up after school when my new friend Colin came over to me.

"Hi!" I smiled.

"Hello, Miles...Did you see what happened to Gregory today?" He smiled and giggled I laughed along too. That was pretty funny making him fall in glue. I had to tell my dad this. I noticed dad pulled up and was smiling and signaling me to come.

"Bye." I said.

"see ya'" Colin said. I hopped in the SUV and buckled up I smiled at dad signaling for him to drive on. Dad told me he had somthing to tell me I hope it's a new bike! I got one for my birthday but I'm out growing it and I'd like a new one. I'm crossing my fingers for this one!

When we arrived home, I saw my other dad sitting on the couch.

"What's up with tubby?" I asked.

My dad laughed, but father woke up from laying on the couch.

"God-damnit! I'm not fucking fat!" He said.

"Right," Daddy moved over to my father, then kissed him. "You're naturally plump."

"EW!" I said, when they kissed again.

"So what's the surprise?" I asked. dad smiled and held me into his lap. He started rubbing my back and looked at my other daddy.

"Eric, wanna' tell Miles?" He asked.

"No." Daddy said. My other daddy smiled and said words I never wanted to hear...

"You're going to have a baby sister."

* * *

**Kyle's POV**

Miles didn't move for a second. He was kind of limp actually.

"Miles?" I called out.

"No!" He yelled. I was a little startled. "No! I don't want a new sister! I don't want a new sibling! Hell, I don't want any siblings!" He yelled.

Oh, Shit.

"Miles...I really-" I was interrupted.

"You hate me!" He yelled. "This is my punishment? Right?" He started to cry. I was taken back a little I tried to calm him down by saying that Eric and I will love him and the new baby just the same, but he didn't buy it. He hopped out of my lap and ran up to his room. I heard the door slam. I sighed, I really wanted another child.

"He'll get used to it." Eric said. I looked over I must of been really bad if Eric handed me a box of tissues.

"I just wanted a family..." I cried.

Eric sighed. He put his arm around my shoulders and I cried into his chest I really wanted more kids...I wanted a family...

* * *

**Miles's POV**

I don't want another baby around the house, hell I don't want A BABY here in the first place! Does daddy even want me anymore? I started crying harder on the thought of daddy not liking me both of my daddies not liking me anymore.

I fell on my bed and cried a little more. I didn't want today to be a bad day is was getting good. I sat in silence when I heard the phone ring my daddy (Eric) picked it up, I found this as an opertunity to ease-drop on the conversation.

"Yeah, you still are a butt-licker" I heard over the up-stairs phone.

I tried not to laugh becuase Father was talking to Uncle stan. Uncle stan and Uncle Kenny got together after Uncle Kenny's girlfriend Starla broke up with Kenny. I loved Uncle Kenny, He's funny.

"Miles threw a fit because Kahl was going to adopt again." daddy said.

"Doesn't Miles know the benifit of being an older child?" Kenny said.

"No." Daddy said. Wait...there's a benifit? I put the phone down gently..maybe having this kid wasn't...so bad, I'm curious, but not accepting!

I ran back into my room, I had to think of somthing.

* * *

**Eric's POV**

"Did it work?" Kahl asked me. We had a plan to see if Miles would take the bait of having this kid Kahl wanted. Miles always easdrops and picks up the phone to listen into conversations.

"I guess so." I said. Oh, God another kid! I don't blame the kid for being mad.

"I'm thirty-one nad I haven't been you Europe to restart the Holocaust!" I whined. Kahl made a mad face and pulled me by the ear.

"What have I said about the holocaust jokes?" He was pretty PO

"Ah! I'm sorry-I'm sorry!" Lets just hope this next kid isn't so bad.

* * *

**Review please! **

**:) Kylelover101 No flames! **


	18. Chapter 18 The new baby arrives

**Alright, we are back on track, I thank everyone for their ideas! Well, you know what's instored. I hope you all like this chapter! :)**

**-Kylelover101 (I DON'T OWN SOUTH PARK)**

* * *

**Miles's POV**

Daddy and Father dragged me all over the damn store, (well, it was mostly my daddy-Kyle, my father and I both didn't like the idea) Daddy had his heart set on buying cribs, clothing items, and other stuff for the new baby coming. I didn't like it that I didn't get anything...I mean, shouldn't I get a heads up item? you know, like: "Hey, here's somthing to keep you busy while I'm taking care of the kid"-toy. Shouldn't I get somthing? I guess father was having more trouble then I was. Because he was carrying everything.

"Why can't Miles...carry a gon-damn thing?"

"Eric! You know he's only five, he can't carry that much!" Daddy snapped. I glared but smiled at the same time at my father, I only had to carry a few stuffed animals.

when we got home, Daddy decided that the baby would have the room across mine. I was relieved I wouldn't have to share or give up my room.

"bottles, crib, new changing table..." Daddy was counting the things we bouth.

"Why don't you save your breath and say the entire baby department?" I laughed at what Father said. Daddy glared at Father and continued checking the items.

Daddy and Father call the adoption agency a lot, as dose the agency call us a lot. They once called our house five times! They also make visits, they come into the baby's room, they check our bank account, and they make sure that we'll have enough money for health, and life insurace, what ever that is. The baby was all on Daddy's mind. I liked hanging out with father, I mean, we're both sighting this "pain". But, sometimes, I feel that he's forgotten about me. He barly tucks me in at night, and he would be talking about me and then one second later he'll be talking about the baby...It's not fair!

I was told that I would have uncle Stan and Uncle Kenny watch me today. While Daddy and Father went out to get a "surprise" I wonder when this kid is coming, it's been four months. I'm not anxious. I'm frusterated.

"Hey, Miles" Uncle Stan smiled. He sat next to me.

"Hi..." I said, weak.

"What's wrong, you've been acting quiet for the past few days." He asked.

"Just...never mind." I went back to watching TV. Terrance and Phillip were on. I love them!

"It's the baby, right?" I looked at Uncle Stan, was he nuts?

"NO!" I yelled. Uncle Stan smiled and I knew I was caught. So what if it's the baby? Daddy can take his baby and go straight to hell, these days, I hate the attention he's giving to the baby-who by the way isn't here yet! I started to cry.

Stan's POV

It's okay, Miles" I said. Poor Miles, he's only six. I understand how it feels to have a sibling take over what's yours.

"You know your father loves you very much." I said. Kenny came out of the living room and into the entertainment room with Miles and I.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Miles feels unloved." I said.

"Well, let's love him up," Kenny smiled, Kenny jumped onto the couch and started tickling Miles. Making him laugh and squeel.

"Stop.." Miles begged.

"That's enough, Kenny" I smiled. Kenny asked Miles what was wrong, and Miles told us how he felt about Kyle and the baby.

"That's normal," Kenny said. "It's normal to feel like that, Miles."

"But, you do kow you're going to have a little sister to love and watch out for." I added.

"What if daddy loves the baby and not me?" Miles asked.

"I don't think that's true." I said. "your father loves you, he makes sure you are taking your insulin for when you have athsma attacks, he makes sure your warm and got food in your belly...I think your father's going to want you for a long time, Miles."

Miles smiled and a few seconds later Kenny and I, heard the doorbell ring.

**Narrator's POV**

They saw Kyle and Eric walk into the room. Kyle had a car seat with someone inside.

Kyle immediately moved to Miles and sat next to him, while Cartman too the seat next to Miles oppsite of Kyle.

"Miles...would you like to see your sister, Hannah-Marie?" Kyle asked. Miles was still for a moment and gently took off the light pink blanket that was covering her body. Miles smiled on seeing the tiny baby. He smiled and silently made a vow to protect his little sister...

"I love you.." He smiled at the little baby.

**THE END.**

* * *

**Review please! I WANNA' THANK EACH AND EVERYONE OF MY REVIEWERS FOR REVIEWEING THIS STORY. THANK YOU ALL!**

**THIS HAS BEEN THE STORY...I'M MARRIED TO A JEW...**

**:) **

**:) Kylelover101 **


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